


Yuri and The Plant

by leosmulletisugly



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 09:10:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10896213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leosmulletisugly/pseuds/leosmulletisugly
Summary: I made this for a friend since it's his birthday today. If anyone outside like maybe 4 people in the group chat see this, im so sorry.





	Yuri and The Plant

**Author's Note:**

  * For [toriluvr350](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=toriluvr350).



> Happy birthday, you old man.

Yuri was doing his daily rounds on rule 34 and doujin sites, carefully judging the cum physics and all. You know like you would normally do when you looked at rule 34. Yuri lookejd This desktop's clock, it was four in the afternoon. Which meant that the post man had just delivered the all of students' mail down in the main office. He was expecting a package from bad dragon that day for his, "Lil vibe tongue" vibrating dragon dildo. He knew Selena had a bad habit of opening mail without reading who it was addressed to, so he just had to get there before she did. He closed all of his tabs and walked out of his room and into the main room where Selena was.  
  
"I'm ,uh, going to check the mail."  
  
He said just before he scurried out of the room only wearing on of his many "MEME KING" shirts with sweats and a pair of starve venom slippers because he had to tie in his scaile pride into his outfits somehow.  
  
He checked their mailbox, nothing expect for Selena's brass knuckles she had been expecting for sometime now. Along with some spam mail and a flower pot. He hadn't ordered any new plants for his garden so this was a surprise. Usually the marker that identified what kind of plant it was, had been whited out and replaced with "for yuri". He decided to keep it and headed back to his dorm.  
  
He gave Selena her brass knuckles and headed to his room to add the new plant to his window flower bed. There were all sorts of weird and exotic herbs and plants there, so if it wasn't like any of his other plants he was going to remove it.  
  
He watered it daily along with his other plants, until it eventually sprouted. It was purple had an oddly shaped bud, it was thrashing around a little before the bud popped open to reveal that it was a purple Venus flytrap smoking a blunt. He laughed, he was definitely going to keep this one. He watered his other plants before going back to his desktop and browsing the many "wonders" the internet had to offer.  
  
It wasn't along before the plant let out toxic gasses that Yuri quickly got high off of. The gasses he inhaled somehow made him want to lock himself in his room and do nothing but play World of War craft for a month straight. He had to eat the rest of his plants for fuel to keep playing or he was going to die of starvation. He ate every single plant he had ever had in his flower bed expect for the venus  flytrap smoking a blunt. He ran out of food but the fumes kept him going for two whole weeks, before eventually crashing and burning.  
  
Yuto had recognized Yuri and World of Warcraft and messaged him about fighting each other ingame. Yuri was still passed out and Selena had managed to break down his bedroom door with the help of her stray cat army. She had only noticed that Yuri had been missing because his "Lil vibe tongue" vibrator had just arrived after a good month or two. When Selena broke down the door she noticed Yuri flailing around unconscious and drowning in a sea of his own spit. She carried him to her room and placed him down on her bed but not after she stuffed his cheeks full of cotton balls. She placed his vibrator on her nightstand right where Yuri could see it, so he can be reminded of his mistakes.  
  
Selena went back into Yuri's room to clean up the mess he had made, when she entered she was hit with the horrible smell coming from Yuri's flower bed. There was only a venus flytrap smoking a blunt now. She sighed, this was very much like Yuri to buy something like this. She yanked the plant out of the flower bed and hurled it out the window and all the way across the other side of the academia. It was going to be the groundskeeper's problem now.  
  
She was going to take care of the rest of the room, starting with all the stray cats in the room. But she saw that Yuto had message to Yuri  just a little after he had passed out.  
  
"Hello, Yuto. This is Selena and I will happily accept your request to fight, if it is still open.  
I have bought new brass knuckles and J have been waiting to use them. I am on my way to your home as we speak."  
Selena went to heartland and quickly located the address of Yuto's home, from information she gathered from Yuris and Ruri's text conversations.  
  
"NO NO I WAS TALKING TO YURI I WAS THINKING PVP DONT ACTUALLY"  
  
But it was too late, she was outside his door. And She and Yuto were going to fight wether he liked it or not. Shun opened the door for her, he knew what was coming. He knew that when Yuto and Selena fought he would be beaten to a bloodly pulp. Before Selena went to Yuto's room he jeered, "KICK HIS ASS SELENA!"  
  
Selena forcibly dragged him out of his room and into the backyard so they could fight. Shun of course, was going to film it all.  
  
Yuto managed to land a few punches, this only agrivated Selena which caused her to start fighting with full force. She used every fighting technique she was ever taught on yuto, a little punk twink was no match for a trained solider.  
  
After Selena had beaten Yuto to a state where he could no longer move most of his limbs. Shun  went up to his room to edit the video of Yuto getting his ass beaten so he was left on the ground.  
  
Yuri woke up and saw that he was in Selena's room, mouth filled with cotton balls and stained with saliva. He turned to the other side of the bed only to be met with his dragon tongue vibrator. He noticed a sticky note on it that read,  
  
"Gone out for a while, be back soon"  
  
When walked into his room to see that there were cats everywhere. They were on the floors, the ceiling, and even in his flower bed making a mess with the dirt. He also noticed a crack in the window but there wasn't anything on the ground.  
  
He went to the tingle tangle app and posted,  
  
" I just woke up there’s saliva everywhere my plants are all gone there’s cats in my room my window is broken whERE IS SELENA."  
  
Yuto saw a noticifcation on his phone, Yuri had just posted on tingle tangel. He needed to get help, so instead of actually dialling 911 he went to a cabbage haired dragon fucker for help.  
  
His phone was right in front of him, he crawled towards his cellphone. It was only a few inches away but it took a good solid thirty minutes before he reached his phone. He couldn't move his fingers so he typed with his nose.  
  
 "Can you do me a favor and call the hospital? Just used up the last of my energy after getting the shit kicked out of me typing this."  
  
Yuri attempted to shoo the cats out of his room but they weren't listening to him, he was going to have to wait until Selena came home.  
  
He felt his phone buzz in his pocket, he pulled it out and read Yuto what reblogged,  
  
So Selena had left to go kick Yuto's ass while he was unconscious, lovely. He had missed to whole thing because of a weed smoking plant.  
   
"Have you ever read something and felt physical pain.  
  
dialling."  
  
Yuto went to the hospital and Shun sold the footage from the fight for ten dollars each.  
  
The end.

**Author's Note:**

> This was the first fic to exceed my phone's notepad character limit. The ending was sudden but ive been writing this since i woke up.


End file.
